Running For My Life...

Saturday was the first day since April since I've gone for a run. Last year I spent the better part of it running and trying to improve my times. Last summer I noticed a "slow down" in my pace/times. I thought it was the heat with humidity or possibly me just being tired, older, pre-menopausal or something else. Not sure why this was happening I kept on going, but my times never really improved. they didn't fall considerably each time either but by winter I noticed a difference. So this Spring I thought would be better, and well, it wasn't. I felt as if I HAD to run for my life I would not make it. I summed it up to my work schedule plus the above things and decided that those times would never be what they were. I was saddened by this thought. I always ran because I loved it. It was my Prozac. The endorphins, the challenge of a better time, and the health benefits. I was running for my life. Running to stay healthy and feeling good. Then Covid hit and the lock-down happened. I thought for sure this was my chance to rest and get out there and get better. I didn't have work or any other things holding me back. So i went back out and tried now that I had rest and the time. There wasn't any change. The last time I went out in April was just brutal. Slow times, I was more tired than normal and just decided to give it up for a while. I hadn't even been able to lose weight this whole time. I was eating right and doing it all. I had gained 30 pounds in the last 5 years and it wouldn't come off no matter what I did. Little did I know...

In Jan I went to see a new Dr and while getting my annual checkup I mentioned I had 

thyroid nodules and she asked if there ever had been a problem. I told her no and that I've had them for years. She asked when the last Ultra Sound was and I told her I had honestly forgotten about them and it had been a while. So she order an US and I went in Feb. She also ordered a blood panel so she could look at everything. When the US came back it revealed that one of my nodules had grown. The doc said that at 1.5cm it was protocol to biopsy the nodule. Mine was 1.9cm which was not huge but just to be safe a biopsy should be done. That was scheduled for early March. The office called the day before and had to cancel due to the NP (nurse practitioner) being sick. They scheduled it for early April...then covid happened, and it was also cancelled. I'm glad now that the two appointments were cancelled and I will tell you why.

Fast forward to mid June. I get a call and schedule the biopsy for end of June. I noticed in MyChart (a system the hospitals and Dr's associated with them here use to communicate, post results and appointments with patients) said it would be at the Surgical Oncology dept. That was weird. So the biopsy was truly not painful (like an acupuncture needle) and I even went back to work. Later that day the NP called me and said the Pathologist had called him and it was cancer. Well Shitballs! I was calm (being of a clinical mind) and I asked the protocol for this was. He explained that because I had other nodules, those were probably cancerous or would be eventually and a Th yroidectomy was The protocol. He explained that there was no was of knowing for sure if the cancer had spread beyond the Thyroid until they were in there. If it had then Radiated Iodine would be the next step.  I said ok and hung up to process all of the info. 

I now had to tell Mr B and my BFF. That was the scariest part of this whole ordeal to be honest. When you say Cancer people immediately think the worse and rightfully so. But back in Feb I had read all about the biopsy procedure and the types of cancers that grew in the Thyroid and the low percentages of it being cancer. I also read that two of them were the most curable (the other 2 being hereditary with genetic mutations involved which was not at all in my genes). But I knew the both of them would freak out. I thought all day about how to tell them. Could I not tell them for a bit? No, not a good choice, they'd kill me, kill me good! Lol! So I decided that ripping the band-aid off was the best way. Just say it and get it over with. Well, they freaked. Mr B didn't sleep well til surgery. He was mad and helpless and I think even sad. My BFF cried. Everyone processes so differently. They tried so hard to hide it but I saw it in there eyes, heard it in the tone of their voices and their body language. I knew it was hard for them to process this. I've been super healthy all my life. So I stayed positive. I WAS positive that the outcome would be good. It could have been worse. I had a good feeling about it.

The next week I had surgery and I am on my third week post op. Last week I saw the doc and I found out that since it was all contained in that nodule and that the Lymph node they biopsied was clear I will not need Radiated Iodine nor will I need any further cancer checks. Of course now I am on a thyroid med for the rest of my life, but that's ok. I'm cured as the doc said. I will always need to do blood tests to make sure my levels are ok but as long as they are I can resume a normal life. 

So the steady weight gain, tiredness, etc was my thyroid telling me something. Even my levels weren't telling. Slightly off doesn't always mean a problem. Sometimes they change with hormonal changes. So I hope to get back out there and start running consistently, lose some weight and feel better. I went for a hike with the dog the week before after the all clear from the doc and it tired me out but felt good. So I knew I was ready. I will not lie, my time sucked but it felt good. I did 5k (3.1 miles). It took me just over 48 min. That was horrible but baby steps. So along with covid this too has been a small journey in my life. 

What is Life but a series of journeys and adventures. I have learned from this journey and will carry on.